Little Mary

My heart melts when I think about little Mary. Walking through the house, she greets "Hoppa" and calls him "silwy boooya" repeatedly. I don't try to stop her for she has captured my soul. Her enthusiasm and joy for life's little pleasures engage me as I watch her discover her surroundings. One by one, she picks up plastic bugs from a bug collection and sifts through several books that she claims are her own. Her affinity for playdough and lodging it in narrow crevices make my time with her more than worth it. She learns. Using marshmellows to "do 1,2,3" and color with a "crayun" she draws a "pitshure" just for me. Little Mary finds just what she wants. I read to her out of her princess book and she describes to me which princess is her favorite. Enthralled by every detail, she looks to me and declares each princess her own. "My Ariuul. My Beyelle." It's in the way she says "butterply" with love and how we tell each other "Shhh. I hear Tinka Bell". It's when she just wakes up from a nap and wants to cuddle with me. My heart is attached. This little girl has overwhelmed my soul.

A new year, a new blog!

It's a new year!!! Thank God :)

I've updated my blog by giving it my own personal touch. I'm quite proud of myself too (changing the design of a blog isn't exactly the easiest task for me). I figured with the new year my blog could use a new design--something fresh and new to start over with. I deleted and removed the old design, took down a few things and added some brisk supplimentaries that will hopefully invigorate your precious souls :) My hope is to continue adding new gadgets and posts throughout the year in order to encourage the heart.

Like my blog, I've had to do some renovations of my own with my life. While my blog was a quick fix, I'm still working on some aspects that lie deep within my heart. I've honestly had to start digging deep inside my soul and pull out roots that have grown and manifested inside for so long. I'm working on a new design, a new layout for my life. However, also unlike my blog, I'm not the one designing or creating it.

I would like to say that my resolution for 2011 is that I finally submit to God's calling for my life and follow Him in obedience. However, when I think about what it means to resolve, my heart has a hard time following suit. Boldness. Willpower. Determination. Conclusion. These are words that are hard for me to embrace. So I'm not saying this is my resolution. No, I can't do that. Not yet anyway. It's my hope and my prayer that I face this matter with confidence and humility. Confidence in my Father; that He is in control and I may find rest in His very presence. Humbled to the point that I'm on my knees in awe of His grace and mercy He imparts on me every day. I want Him to administer my every move as I proceed through life. I truly do.

Yet, this is not natural for me. Some days, it's not even desirable for me. So I have to embark on this journey with prayer. A quest that will probably take more than a year...but one that calls me to a cause worth dying for. I'm fearful, but long to know the depths of my Father's heart.

Here's to a new, abounding, year. Happy 2011!