Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Lost are many great commissions by such neglect.

so it's been a while since i've even looked at my blog. neglect. i've not only neglected this blog but parts of my life as well. my final semester of school took over and i suddenly had all these worries, cares and concerns about my future. which in turn led me to neglect lots of things. these past few months have been a whirlwind and i don't think there's enough time or space to explain my understanding of it all. so a few highlights of the last 5-6 months:

december-finally got to leave my job :) such a blessing to have that stress over with!

january-a nice destressing month before the final semester begins
applied for overseas missions and rejected job oppotunity--hmmm...

february-began student teaching kindergarten at Franklin Forest Elementary
sister got engaged!!!!!!
2 good friends got engaged!!!!!!

march-furiously applied for teaching jobs and trying to figure out what i'm gonna do after i graduate
wedding planning begins and gets crazy!
Korean tuoring sessions ended :(
roommate and I applied and started planning our mission trip to Cancun, Mexico :)

april-everything under the sun was due--stress levels were high
student teaching is coming to an end as is the semester and college :)

may-last week of student teaching, last minute assignments due, graduation, celebrations, packing up, saying goodbyes, packing up, waiting for interview calls, packing up and moving back home...

so that's been the last few months. a big ball of emotions, stress, good times with old and new friends and craziness. i'm excited this season of my life is coming to a close. but i'm also fearful of the unknown. i don't have a set job. i don't even have a prospect! my journey to becoming a teacher seems slow, even paused at some points, and i'm starting to feel like i'm running out of time. everyone keeps telling me i've got plenty of time...but i feel that train left when i decided to change my major two years ago. i know God is in control and that He has a plan for me. i'm just not sure i'm ready for it. i don't really know if i'm ready for what He is calling me to. i'm fearful of what it's going to require of me and what i'm going to have to sacrifice. i know His ways are higher and nothing has to make sense right now, but my flesh keeps neglecting His call for my life. i keep telling God not to give up on me and that i'll come around, but i'm not sure how long that will take...

as i get ready for the summer, possibly my last summer ever, there's a lot going on that i have to look forward to. my sister's wedding is in august and so i'm sure that is what i'll be dedicating my life to these next few months. my mother is traveling by herself to Texas to visit with a good friend. she finally gets to visit San Antonio, a place she's always wanted to go. i'm excited for her--she deserves it. this also means my father and i get to spend some quality time together :) i'm pretty pumped about this as well. and then at the end of june, my roommate and I, Mallory, will be venturing to Cancun, Mexico on a mission trip. we'll be spending almost two weeks there and helping out wherever the need is. our church has partnered with a church down there so we'll be serving them for 10 days. we're also selling bracelets for $5 to raise money--so if anyone wants to donate, that'd be great!

Lost are many great commissions by such neglect. James Wyatt

hopefully, this quote does not prove true in my life...and hopefully i'll stop neglecting the things that are so essential.