Hello again...

I've neglected my blog the past couple of months, so I thought an update was in order. I also never entered my last journal entry from my trip...however, I have lost my journal at the time being and so I wouldn't be able to enter it if I wanted :(

Moving on...

Life has been....crazy, lately. It seems I can't catch a break from this whirlwind of a course I live. It's not been bad, it's just been hectic lately. School has me engaged 24/7, as well as work at the church. Then I've just taken on a tutoring job with a 4th grade Korean girl as well as an English tutor for her older cousin four nights a week all the while applying for a job in South America. Whew! I'm out of breath. Literally.

If you know me at all, then you know I'm a fan of being shiftless and that my down time is very vital to my being. Let's face it, I love to rest. I love to be idle and kick back; not have a care in the world. If I could have it my way, I would totally choose to relax, settle in and repose. That's not been the case lately and I'm starting to lose my focus. I'm not even talking about just spiritually, but academically and professionally too. I've the worst attitude about school right now and I really could careless about how I come across to my professors. That's not me! I've also lost it at work that I actually told my roommate the other day I wish they would just fire me. Who is this!?!? This isn't the person I want to be nor who I was created to be. I'm so tired all the time and the only thing I look forward to now are my tutoring sessions with my Korean friends, which I don't actually have time for. If I'm truly honest, I'm ready to move on from school to much greater things. To what I have planned for my life. I'm ready to be out of school, leave this town, even the people. Don't get me wrong, I love the friends and the people that have become my "family" here, but I'm ready for something different. I want something more, countless.

But I can't. Not now, anyway. I know I have a place here and while I am struggling to fully believe it, I have to come to the realization that I have a purpose where I am at. That this season is not only preparing me for things to come, but ultimately holds meaning and reason. I can't count the number of opportunities that God has given me to "be light" to others since returning from my trip this past summer and even though I am excited about those opportunities, my heart still longs for something more abounding. I know there is purpose, I know there is a reason. And I'm fighting to hold on to that in the midst of my efforts. It's not easy, but I know God is continually working in me and blessing me. Funny how I covet the stationary, but yet crave a prevalent life...as if the two really go together.

Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him...
Psalm 37:7