a life of complacency

I spent this past weekend and these past couple of days at home with my dad. I can't remember the last time my dad and I, just the two of us, spent time together. The past few years have been crazy with school, work and being 3 hours away that I haven't had as much time with my parents as I would have liked. Summers have usually been filled with trips, school and work, so this "mini-vacation" with my dad was great. My mom had a friend come in town and they went up to the mountains this week thus giving me time well spent with my father.

During my time at home, I remembered how simple things were when I was living there. No worries, cares, all my needs were met in the blink of an eye. Life was great and simple. To me, it was an abundant life. But as each year passes, I feel like things (life) become more complicated. I feel like I have more things to worry about and I care more about different things in life. Even meeting my own needs is sometimes a hassle in ways. Don't misunderstand me, all my needs have always been met and I have had worries before and deal with them as they come. It's just that now I'm in charge of these things when my parents use to take care of basically everything for me. I would rely on them and always knew they would take care of all aspects of my life.

Now, as I experience all that life has to offer, God has reminded me that I can still feel this same kind of simplicity and worry-free life that I once knew. But do I embrace it? Not always. You see, God has given me something that I can find rest in and be at peace with. Him. He allows me to put my trust in Him and let him be ruler over my life. This sounds easy, but I haven't mastered it at all. I don't even come close. As a child it was easy to let my parents take care of me and allow them to lead me and guide me. It was easy and almost natural. Why? Because they had proven their love to me and for me. They had proven that they would take care of me and always be there. In the same way, Christ has already proven his love for me and to me and has promised He will always be there and he continues to do this daily. So why is it sometimes so difficult for me to fully give up my life over to him so that I can experience this abundant life that I long for? I know all He is, is good. All He does is good.

The life that I once knew, the simple, worry-free, fully trusting life, isn't far from me or out of my reach. It is a choice. A daily, on my knees, offering of myself to God. It is only there that I will find rest and contentment.

Psalm 73:26
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.